Internet Proverbs, Wisdom Edition: If Solomon Had Been A Millennial

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Wisdom has built her tiny house
she has hewn her recycled seven pallet coffee table.
She has sliced her avocados; she has mixed her kombucha;
she has decorated her table with Hobby Lobby succulents.

“Come! Eat of my gluten free bread;
and drink of my kombucha.
Leave your SJW ways and get a life,
walk in the way of tolerance, like, literally.”

A wise son makes a glad father,
But a foolish son boosts business for the wine industry.

Do not reprove a scoffer or he will hate you;
Reprove a wise man, and he will block you.

A slack hand causes typos,
But the hand of the diligent uses emojis.

He who goes shopping in the produce isle is a prudent son;
But he who races grocery carts brings shame to his mother.

The Lord blesses the righteous with avocado toast;
But the wicked reap Ramen Noodles and ruin.

My son, hear my podcast and be wise,
and do not neglect it.
Blessed is the one who listens to me,
syncing daily with iTunes.

Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser;
teach a righteous man, and he will follow you on Twitter.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,
and knowledge of the Holy One is downloadable via Google Play.



She's a Texan stay-at-home mom of three who listens to heavy metal and likes black licorice. She's baking, piano-playing poet who loves fantasy literature, Star Trek, and will slay you at Scrabble. But even as she's changing diapers, sweeping up Cheerios, and cleaning peanut butter off the cat, Jennifer is thinking about writing. Whether she's crafting her next humorous parenting anecdote, composing a new song, or contemplating a profound theological concept, 87.42% of Jennifer's writing is done in her head.
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